When someone is your neighbourhood is falling short - and you would like to make a comment of the sarcastic sort

Dear blog reader,

Time for some fun one-liners from radios this fall and some net search.....

My favourites

• Not shoveled all the way
• The cheese slid off of his cracker
• Too many birds on the antenna
• A few hints shy of having a clue
• A few shades beyond blond
• Not all the states on the map
• Not all the buttons in the jacket
• Too much yardage between the goal posts
• Too little oatmeal in the porridge
• No major studentloan deficit

Classics

• The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead
• The light's on but there is no one at home
• The elevator do not go all the way up
• Not all the horses in the stable
• The engine is on, but there is no one at the at the steering wheel
• Not the quickest bunny in the forest
• Not the the sharpest tool in the shed
• Not all the soldiers are marching in line

Short of

• A few sausages short of a BBQ
• A few beers short of a six-pack
• A few colors short of a rainbow
• A few cards short of a full deck
• A few threads short of a sweater
• A few clowns short of a circus
• A few bricks short of a load
• A few ice bricks shy of an igloo

Techie ones

• Missing a few buttons on the remote control
• Receiver is off the hook
• The battery is not fully charged
• The moonroof is leaking
• The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed
• Working with an unformatted disk
• A nibble shy of a byte
• He's the guy always looking for the aluminum magnet
• There must have been a fire in the fuse box

Notties

• Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
• Not all the indians in the canoe
• Not the brightest light in the harbor

Figure games

• Twelve shy of a dozen
• Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 Minutes

Opposite to good

• All foam, no beer
• All fence, no posts

Food associated

• Not all the cornflakes in the box
• A few fries short of a Happy Meal
• A few sandwiches short of a picnic
• A few pecans short of a fruitcake
• A few caloires below a water diet
• Trying to nail Jello to a tree
• Do not have all the toppings on the pizza
• A few tacos short of a fiesta platter

Sharpness

• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
• As sharp as a marble ball

Ways of working

• Knitting with only one needle
• Rowing with only one oar in the water
• Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt
• He/She couldn't pour water out of a boot if the directions were no written on the heel.
• Couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag
• Doesn't have all his dogs in one leash

Excluding

• Not the brightest star in the sky
• His belt doesn't go through all the loop

Off limits

• Working too much with glue
• Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching
• Body by Fisher-Price, brains by Mattel
• Too much chlorine in the gene pool
• A few WMDs short of clear and present danger
• Two pounds of [anything unpleasant] in a one-pound bag